RyanED Profile

Total Posts	Last Post	Last Seen	Joined
32527	07/22/08 18:41:59	07/24/08 20:48:43	01/01/05

Visitors Now	Visitors Today	Most Visits	Total Visits
0	8	310 06/02/08	2991

2249 Kudos

07/24/08

I understand my friend, I can appreciate and understand what you are saying...

You have friends, and we're here for you....
Original comment »

hallak

769 Kudos

07/24/08

Reply from RyanED:

Thank you for the beautiful graphic, Gab.

It's one of the greatest I've seen...

You're the best card sender out there.

I bet Rick would love that one also.

It's incredible to say the least!

Give me a few more weeks ( hopefully my energy level improves ), and I promise to send you a lot more cards and graphics in the future.

You're a great friend.

Thanks for the caring thoughts...

Here's a cute cat for you.

I have no clue what it is... Perhaps a summertime cat relaxing at the beach or something like that?

LOL, oh well. I just saw it on Photobucket and saved the image to my account. It's a cute cat I guess.

Take care, Gab.

Perry Spring

2249 Kudos

07/24/08

Hang in the buddy, you will be fine, I know so....

Prayers do work, Monday morning I was in a prayer chat on Christ Haven, and prayed as hard as I could for you......

I know you will be fine...

Your friend,

Perry
Original comment »

07/24/08

Reply from RyanED:

Perry, I believe I've heard about Christ Haven before. I was invited to post there by somebody who messaged me a while back. I think it was Christ Haven, but perhaps it was another Christian-based forum. They thought it would be a great forum for me to post on, but I never got around to adventuring into ( posting on ) that particular community.

Right now, I post very rarely on any forum. I used to be an elite poster and it wasn't unusual for me to post 50 times per day. But as of now, I find myself struggling to feel accepted on any Yuku forum. There's no longer a place I can truly call a friendly forum that will embrace me for who I am...

I sort of wore out my welcome on a special Houston Sports Forum I posted on for the past three years. I had over 32,000 posts on there, and I thought I befriended most of the members during the course of three years of dedication and committment to that community. The great people there still want me to continue to post on there, but I need more time away before I come to any conclusions.

I just felt I needed time off from everything. I couldn't keep up the pace of posting so much every day. My declining health was a big factor into my decision, but I also felt that sports was taking away a big portion of my life as well.

I just couldn't handle writing a book on every one of my posts anymore. The work involved was starting to take its toll on me.

And then I started posting in two other forum communities - totaling 400 posts and 100 posts in each respective place, but as it turned out... I wasn't having any fun posting about things that were non-sports related. I felt out of place trying to type about things I wasn't comfortable writing about, such as love ( adult content ) for instance.

I ended up making a fool out of myself to tell you the truth. My rambling and ranting nature ( being the writer that I am ), were too much for some people to handle, but most people appreciated the fact I was always honest, sincere and never afraid to wear my heart on my sleeves.

So now it's like... What's the point of posting in any forum anymore? All I ever wanted was to feel accepted and like a good friend to people, but it seems like I did more "doing nothing that was all about being negative" instead of "making a positive difference."

And now as I struggle with my everyday life ( health issues and all ), I can't even begin to explain what to do next. I don't even know if I have the answer or solution anymore.

Becoming healthy is all that should matter to me right now.

I like to write and type ( or used to anyway ), and why I could never feel genuinely appreciated for my efforts when it came to forum posting is something I'll always question. Maybe I need to make my own forum and be the administrator, or at the very least I'd like to become a moderator. At least then I could feel more involved with something, instead of a workhorse who doesn't get any recognition or credit for the hard work they put in.

All of that sweat, blood and tears I put into those 32,000-plus posts were a big waste of time it seems like. Forget the fact I typed my enlarged heart out to the point of nearly dying, and forget the fact I was the one working harder than anybody else when I should have just been having fun and enjoying life!

maid4you

538 Kudos

07/23/08

I will keep you in my prayers Ryan.....
Original comment »

Perry Spring

2249 Kudos

07/22/08

It's difficult to be positive in the face of adversity...

Try to focus on the good things in life...

Things will be okay, I know it......

Perry
Original comment »

07/23/08

Reply from RyanED:

Perry, I felt a little better today... In the sense that I didn't sleep the entire day, but I did sleep a lot. I was also able to eat a full meal for the first time since Friday afternoon. It was healthy of course, and nothing that I shouldn't be eating.

I'll see how this goes ( eating right and taking my medications on time ), because I don't want to seem overly confident only to suffer another setback. I need to stay "Even Stevens" if you will, or on a level-headed mentality. I'm not even sure what the word I'm looking for is, but I've been trying my best to overcome every single obstacle and illness that steps in my way.

Sometimes I feel like God gave me all of my health problems for a reason. He knew I could handle it and he also knew I'd become a better person for it, and as I improve I'm starting to feel a lot better about myself.

My Nebulizer Machine has been such a blessing in disguise. Sort of like my own guardian angel in the form of an item. If not for this machine, I'm not sure I would be typing this right now.

Thanks a lot for your prayers and caring thoughts, Perry.

I appreciate them immensely.

By the way, I want to totally change my profile and make something as cool as yours ( with a general theme like Poker ), but I'm afraid I get tired way too fast when I'm working hard on my computer. It seems like I make a minor change and don't know where to go next.

Your friend, Ryan.

Slowly but surely, right?

I feel like I'm becoming a better person every day.

I'm a great person with a big heart ( literally! ), and that's the only reason I keep thriving for a better life. I promised myself I wouldn't cry anymore, and so I'm not. Not one tear hit my keyboard as I typed all of this.

maid4you

538 Kudos

07/22/08

Ryan I will pray for you.....Get well soon....

CC

07/22/08

Reply from RyanED:

Thank you, CC.

It's nearing 7 p.m. and I slept for nearly the entire day once again. The new heart medications I'm taking have been making me extremely exhausted and tired.

The doctor told me that I'd probably sleep a lot due to all of the combined medications I'm taking, but I didn't think it would be such a sudden and noticeable change. In fact, I didn't even believe him because I'm the type of person who rarely sleeps.

I've slept for at least 10-plus hours per each 24 hours during the past two days and nights. Prior to taking the new medications, I was lucky to get only four or five hours of sleep per night ( and day )...

I'm seeing my sleeping hours double instantly, and nearly triple. I don't know if this is good or bad, but it does feel good to be asleep because I can't feel any pain when I'm sleeping.

I used to use my computer for 10 or 15 hours a day, and now I'm starting to sleep for 10 or 15 hours a day. I find myself only using my computer for one or two hours per day now. The rest of the time I'm in the living room sitting on my new leather recliner as I try to watch sports.

I want to make some serious lifestyle changes, but first I must continue to pray and be strong as I strive for better health.

I really feel like I'm becoming a better person because of everything I've been going through... I'm starting to appreciate even the little things in my life. My health has been such an erratic roller coaster ride for the past year - hitting rock bottom on a couple of occasions, but I wouldn't change of any of it... Those experiences have made me a better person.

Perry Spring

2249 Kudos

07/21/08

My prayers are with you....
Original comment »

07/22/08

Reply from RyanED:

A lot of times I tend to feel discouraged and disheartened with my current health situation, but I know deep down there's a lot of strength and courage inside of me. To be able to endure so much pain, staring it in the face without giving up... I know I can overcome any obstacle if I stay strong and dedicated.

For all of my life, I've been doing too much thinking, debating, stressing and worrying... The only thing that does is lead to high blood pressure and unnecessary anxiety, and I forgot to just say "It's alright," and just relax, have fun and enjoy life.

It's somewhat ironic how I kept thinking I was weak and afraid, but in actuality ( past the depression and self doubt ), I do feel strong and determined. Sometimes it takes a serious health scare for a person to realize what's really important.

I appreciate even the little things in my life these days. Just drinking an Ozarka bottled water right now ( for example ), I say my thanks for this great "Natural Spring" water that I'm about to drink. The next time something bad or unfair happens to me, I'm not going to feel frustrated or become angered by it... I'm just going to accept it and move on with a better frame of mind.

All I can do is pray and think positively from now on. Whatever else happens is going to happen regardless.

Perry Spring

2249 Kudos

07/21/08

Think and praying for you today buddy.......

07/21/08

Reply from RyanED:

My visit to the Cardiologist went well today, but the new heart medications I started taking are making me feel very fatigued and tired. I got home at around 10 a.m. and then I fell asleep and just woke up and it's nearing 5:50 p.m. This is the most amount of sleep I've gotten in a very long time. I actually feel very relaxed right now. The good news is I don't feel a sharp burning sensation inside of my chest anymore ( at least since Friday Night ), and I also don't feel my heart beating fast.

My mother purchased me a brand new leather recliner yesterday afternoon with a leg rest pull-up option. It's much more comfortable than the old one I had. So I'll probably be spending more time in the living room from now on, and not on my computer inside of my room.

I'm just very thankful right now. I have prayed for a very long time ( every single day and night ), and I think God has been far too generous to me ( answering my prayers ) and allowing me another opportunity to live and enjoy life. It just feels like I'm getting chance after chance, and I often wonder how truly lucky I am.